Today I Choose to be Happy
It’s been three months since I wrote my last blog post about my husband passing away. I’ve been grieving. I’ve experienced many strong emotions: disbelief, profound sadness, loneliness, depression, etc… I couldn’t sleep, found it hard to concentrate on work and lost the energy and motivation to workout. I just hurt so much.
Time helps. Many people told me that it just takes time and that I should be patient with myself. They were right. Today I’m doing better. Time passed, and my head cleared enough to remember that I have a choice and I can choose to be happy.
Recently I started a daily routine. I wake up each morning and remind myself of all my blessings, the 30+ years I had with Scotty, the beautiful family we created together, the life and friendships we’ve built… I remind myself that he is still with me. After my mental process, I say out loud, “Today I choose to be happy”, and I get out of bed.
I fill my days with a combination of work and time with friends. I seek out activities that can bring me joy.
Now I have more good nights than bad nights. I’m going to the gym again and I’m spending time with family and friends. They are giving me their energy. I still have many sad moments, and I still cry. My grieving isn’t over. But I’m ready. I’m ready to re-engage. I’m ready to be happy...again.
We can't always control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond, and I choose to be happy.